Valentine's Day and Marriage

David Chadwick
Sunday, February 11th

Marilyn Chadwick joins David to discuss Valentine's Day and how it affects married couples.


Transcript - Not for consumer use. Robot overlords only. Will not be accurate.

Hi everyone I'm David Chadwick in this is news 1110993. WPT. Welcome to the shows in case you don't know this is a faith and values program that tries to intersect faith and values with different issues in our culture things going on around us. It's always a pleasure doing the program thank you for listening now over seventeen years and we've been together so today with Valentine's Day. Coming up in just a few days on this Wednesday February the fourteenth I thought we needed to do. A Valentine's. Day program. So in order to properly addressed the subject of love and Valentine's. And commitment and mayor age and all those different kind of things. I thought I would have one of my favorite people in the world. And one of my favorite guests in the world to come in the studio with me and do this Valentine's Day shows she is. My wife Maryland she's been with me before. And we have been married now almost 4040 years hard to believe. This may the twentieth forty years for decades together you know wearing one now. It just seemed like yesterday that this guy wanted us to meet or blind date on a blinding and I can't respond to him we didn't even like him so if he gets things are Laura's match that we like and we just I'm the guy that. It was a good guy who really want your or I was. Goals in mind was green or something that this was the seventies. In view in this nine time all that stuff and so finally I gave in and said okay I'll call her and I didn't really want another blind date was somebody I gave hand and here we are forty years later I broke every rule and at. And I always counsel people with and that is give at the test of time and when things are you of the person that we met and within weeks we were talking here in three months. After we met we were engaged. In nine months after we met we were married. Went to Houston Texas is a part of my doctoral program and went with me and an added even now you were in seminary I heard you were apparently spot news. They return and status so I was stunned to realize you're going to be preacher and you sit all of your life I was never gonna Mary Mary Read it right discussions that you. That's again. And you had to marry me I guess because I forced united and I am union twisted your arm that please come and Mary me and you did forty years later during an Charlie count 38 years minus 38 years three he would. And to bring can't Greinke it's our coming buys. May not last increasing there in the last you know off and on and it's been fun ride relief as and so I thought to be fun today if you and I. Spent some time just talking about it love release years and when Mary's release it is as Valentine's Day is approaching its. One of the largest selling cord day of the year as people by the courts to express love to their beloved and you know Maryland. You and I've talked about this a lot to it went couples walked down the aisle to get married. And they say you know for better for worse richer for I think the vast majority of them really mean it how excellent they wanna stay Mary don't you think. I think Sam and I think people still are enamored with. The beautiful idea of romantic laughed I just don't think they have a lot of handles on how to keep talent he is not a lot. Still a lot of support out there these days to tell people how to keep it moving forward I think people are so enamored with feelings. Of course feelings come and go. But when the commitment is strong and when you're doing some good things to build the relationship. Then you're not worried if the feeling strapped down or drop but you know you know that the relationships not based on but I think. Hollywood in the media and the these social media now everything has kind of paint a really unrealistic picture of what. Marriages and said the Asian couples are stunned. When they have their first bond. I don't know what to do with this how many young couples we have come to the same man we've had a rough year marriage rumors like. Well the first year mayor's general working hours and when you're trying to glory outcry closure with someone you bop yeah. Yeah and more and more and you realize the habits that cheated you know that person had. And suddenly there definitely they're writing is this guy an area and that's just part of the test them but I think it's time to reclaim. Not just the sanctity of Mary's but just the fact that such a great institution and we live in a hook up culture and we're on sex has been disconnected from the deep covenant commitment of anger raged on many of them ponson and we live now in a highly charged sexual life society like never before people can get in touch with some kind of sexual deviant. Whenever they want to on line or wherever and and also exacerbates the problem and co habitation and other issues and marriage success and Stan when couples have lived together. Eventually get married in aren't the divorce media buyer for it it's over 60% in fact the divorce rate for those who co habit tape is larger than those who just get married I think the reasons the clause. When nickel habit Tate there's no covenant commitment villager the relationship really for permits is kind of a trial and now they've not said for better world or sickness and health they've just gotten together because they wanna see if they like one another if and that you'll eventually get married. They didn't begin with the whole idea of a foundation of company commitment. We onto their set illusion that you have to be perfect for the person to find. Has to be perfect before you're ready for marriage that's something I'm here I'm like oh I have to get my career perfectly in order have to get. In in my education completely finish I have to be in the White House and half on the money any. Instead of that idea will work and slug it out grow together. Well we wanna give people a day some hope. And let's talk about some practical things we've learned through the years both of us have our counseling degrees as well as other. I degrees and we wanna give people a way to make their marriages were today this Valentine's Day week I'm David Chadwick this is news 1110 WBT will be. Right back. Everyone I'm David Chadwick it's 1110993. WBT. Welcome back to the show and happy Valentine's Day week to all of you it's all of this Wednesday so I thought it would be appropriate for this show. To do something in the area of love and married and Valentine's Day and I've got my own Valentine's studio with me today my wife Maryland. Almost married forty years rice forty years this may dismay of the twentieth and it's been a wonderful ride not without our own bombs and we want to ensure yourself people that we have our own place we've had conflicts -- marriage is work you and what did Ruth Bell Graham Billy Graham's wife say that the best marriages are made up of two great for giver here. She's also one that says she never contemplated divorce no murder yes but to force no second half I thought that's coming that I think everybody that has a good marriage had to build. Some strength three conflict is fifteen different. Human beings you know we live in a culture today where marriages being. Couples are waiting longer and longer and even to get married if indeed they do Mary that includes also delaying having children very anxious and a marriage in the family's never been more up in the here than it is in today's call. We'd just taught a class with a bunch of young couples earlier this week and several love them just communicate to me how anxious they work. About marriage and you know they were nervous about getting married they're nervous about whether they can stay married and they come act like it's the weather. You know you don't know what's gonna come your way in your out of control and you would say. That if you make choices to build a strong marriage on the right principles the weather can come and go that your best rock this is that secured really you know. And I think it begins in a relationship with god I really sad to leave that I think he's the glue that hold a couple things he does not change yeah he for ever is the same and if god is spirit which is what the Bible says. Then if you have a spiritual life the twilight news that should be the super glue that holds you together. Well also keeps one of us from drawing too much from the other refund some times. Though it though has been lean too hard on the wife for all of his needs or steel lean too hard on him for every single national need. And you know humans are not very good god it's there also got an awful guys and I jokingly call that a slower because everywhere he did you know we're in the Mary gets punished drink together when trying and the other finally says I can't acted late last self esteem you know give me my life's purpose and marriages are great when their two companions have both. You know lean on god and trusting god and then. Give to one another of course at times you have to lean on the other no question about it but it can't be the norm. I remember my dad used to say that the best mayor urges are like two columns. That hold up strong Ruth. But the columns half's have to be a little bit separated from one another to be strongest in there has to be used to say space in their togetherness how remember that and I think that's a wise statement that was a wise man he it was a great man and this he was married he your mom opening what about sixties and three years before mom passed away and they would have made to sixty and yet when dad passed away five era later. They really love each other but you're mom and dad have a date to pass well and it just passed a 63. Year mark daddy's gonna turn ninety. And day yeah he's been very faithful here giving. With her and she's been in a wheeled in here finding help for many years now while and he shows great love to her dad if he was in studio today and someone asked him how can you continued to stay in that relationship with her. In that wheelchair and you care for her like you do at nine years of age how audience and he thinks it's a privilege. And he is not about to let her gap from on his wing he's keeping her there moment. Has a couple of caregivers that happened now let. You know he can't complain at all he he counts of privilege and it's interesting counselor privilege when it wonderful statement for you war veteran team you know those submarine war Aaron Williams and they they understand what it means to give your life for somebody else now. Well in the whole idea of what god intended mayor urged to be in that was were two people to become one. And the melt their lives together over decades of life together. On you know I have a picture in my mind of what I want from life to be like nine that would be you and I holding hands together surrounded by kids rank you is an and we make it that late maybe even great and kids thing but that's our picture we weak in the words of Stephen Covey the great. Leadership guru we begin with the in my chair and saying now that's the picture we walk so. Therefore gonna work through anything and everything to make that picture happen. If you make decisions kind of based on that but. You know I think you know marriage is actually really fun when when your unit I think the way to god designed it and everybody talks so much about. The divorce rate though it's one attitude Christians are exactly the same actually not true. All you have to do is just a very short search on Google. To find out that marriages even where people just prayed together. You know most days. The door strays one out of 800 really if you and have a few add worshiping together. And really the vile mean everything's serving together it's just those have been 11 statistic and I don't know this is Dr. Phil this when he can Christians show. Doctor physical was quoted as saying one at a 101001. Out of ten down and yes I ST. Whatever it is one at a whatever it is it's a whole lot better than one and a two and it should make couples that I wanna see these young couples. Now collect as after day. Go through some in this training at church and say you know we're not worry anymore we know we can bond we know we can have fights in me within have to get divorced. This thing can last for ever. And I am you know that this should give great confidence to people is it as simple. Maryland as saying that god created us body soul and spirit that that all three you are part of our lives today. Should be inextricably connected to one or rather that when one is. Healthy it infects the other is being healthier path and if you develop the spiritual side of your own life and in your own relationship with god is very strong right either for. Read the Bible daily you pray daily onion now we're short we just leave just ready there you go spiritual disciplines and then if your spouse's doing those as well. Those parts of your spiritual lives come together and again of god is spirit makes for healthy that what makes people be able to stay together for a lifetime. And again you know what god wanted people to get married he created rang anyone at people to make families because he said be fruitful. And if it was going to be rocket science you know it only in the whole planet would be. You know in danger of extinction he wanted this to be something that was easily grasped in David you have travel so much are over the world and we've seen. Vibrant healthy families and little putts in on the backs out of nowhere in. In their reindeer are aligned or Sudan and family you know living a family life. We've got the senator. Can be instinctively. Something that anybody can graphs with it got put it purposely lows so anybody can grasp it if they want to I just think we live in a culture now that so. I mean so denigrated and nobody really that almost overlooked it's like to obviously. And Jesus said what god has joined together notes per person has got several right so if you are in joined with someone like you and I'll artists deepest spiritual level. There's no flesh and blood person who can count us to adultery eventually divorced and auriemma or somewhere and why would we. And it's not get to grit your teeth and bear it for fifty years mean it should be sentenced just you know it's better to be married you know if I have a choice star wanna be on I don't wanna be married. Alice and wanna be married now I know god can give a very fruitful life. To people that are Alain and I have pull any differences and coming in the Bible even says -- this isn't he a blessing from god for some blue again and people would you people do get divorced and people are widowed. You know it just happens and people can still efforts alive because they're like is rooted in the early again with the lord but I still think you know his plan for the famine was you know marriage and raising a family. So what's happened in America today we we have. The one attitude divorce rate generally. We do have young couples in our church that we council were scared to death they wanna be married they are merely see either adhere to surround them and maybe parents accountable I think that's part of it they seized a number of divorces around them and particularly in their own spheres of influence. There is on your hair I think that's a good observation that he note you know James Dobson that was sort of the family counselor on. On mayor for decades recently says something and he said after all my years of look at their families. He's ever really narrow it down to one thing. And I thought he was gonna say like alcohol or infidelity with pornography or something he says he thinks that the curse the scores. It's really attacking the modern American family that's at the root of everything. He said he thinks his dizziness the dizziness and so people just being fervently involved in anything and everything and they don't have time to give to their mayors issues I think he would say that I think she was also implying that nobody knew what kind of stress fractures we're gonna happen when you had. Two people and him husband and wife equally fervent in their careers. Nobody really ever understood exactly how that was gonna work I think the Wall Street Journal and had article recently and that some might only. It hounded double income but not to double income double ambitions have really. Negatively impacted marriages and he is kind of politically incorrect to talk about that. But I think he at least have to examine that as a possibility because humans and machines we have finite resource is would have finite energy and how can. To keep we keep in so much. Out here and and then what happens at home and Lisa left over and I don't know I'm cannot say that that's the reason that. If Dobson says that you know he studied it for years a we have at least look at the business aspect. I can't help. But remember in Luke twelve Jesus tells the story. Vote fool who built. More and more Barnes distort more on his math sessions him and then he heard a voice that said you fool tonight your soul is required to view. And then the next section is Jesus saying they're four and I've always taught people whenever you study the Bible whenever you see and therefore know what it's therefore it's connecting the previous with what he's about to say. In light of the possessions. Amassed by this man but he knew that his soul was required him that night Jesus as their four. Don't be anxious about anything he connects anxiety to the accumulation of wealth stuff stuff. What can that be part of this how lenders factor I wonder because you know the reason that more Barnes was as he was such a success he realized that he had great crops so was lifting but then. The building of the Barnes Mandy was not such a good thing. And what let's talk about that may be the accumulation of staff could be a reason that people drift in their affections toward one another. I don't know we'll limit section of scripture in implies to we our souls who have a human body not a human body have a soul. We are eternal in our. Being creatures created by god and that Seoul is what should be taken care of more than anything else. And we don't have much sold detoxification happening on in today's call him down we have people busily trying to amass more and more and if anything they're paying attention to their physical bodies. In addition to satisfying their lush full desires. And really not caring for their souls which. Indeed if they're married and two people or caring for their souls and come together caring for their souls I think that's the recipe for a successful marriage soundscan Maryland. My wife. Of almost forty years is my guest today we're looking at the whole idea of love and marriage this Valentine's Day week. A lot has a great gift from god so when we come back let's look at what the biblical definition of love is. And not what our culture thinks it is I'm David Chadwick will be right back. Hi everyone I'm David Chadwick. Eleven and nine guys who doesn't VT welcome back to the show. If you like your the program in its entirety go to two. WBT dot com scroll down to the weekend shows click on to the David Chadwick show and you can download the podcast and hear the program from beginning to end. You'll certainly want to do because my guest today is one of my favorite people and all of the world my wife Maryland. And all this Valentine's Day week Wednesday being Valentine's Day downturns day everybody you yeah. And I thought to be appropriate to talk about Valentine's. Love you mayor age what are those. Things from a faith and values perspective because you really are different and what did she think they really are different from the faith in guns president believes and I believe that love and I'm mayor age win. Having the ingredient of faith. Allows long jab at the lifelong commitment commitment we've seen that timing over and over and we're experiencing in our own marriage and again let a state every one. Our mayor just not that anybody had our bumps we've had to forgive each other a number of times. We step on each other's toes sometimes because of selfishness sometimes because we didn't even realize we're doing more likely rescind in the previous segments and as we get so busy advocate tired. You know. Being fatigued beaten overworked makes most of it's pretty crappy Willits make sure we cover at the end of last segment what we wanted to make sure people heard. And that is be aware of the danger of materialism. And it can't fuel. Law between them. And in the wine and used telling instance because we're very materialistic culture nowadays I think it's gotten even more so recently out of social media and set up their price look at over the fence this time digitally. And saying oh they have this that this life is like the answer. We want this and I don't think they realize that when they accumulate so much staff. How do you think it impacts the relationships. And you know Fran and I went said that she won the ways that she guarded herself they were very wealthy. But she says I'm only gonna have a certain size house. That as I can only fill up this many grams and then I'm done is that if we keep it bigger and bigger houses would just keep my and more more stuff. And you know I taught her recently this is like. Decades later and she has really stepped TM and they've managed to keep a good a good marriage that family life they've kept their priorities in order they could have. You know had multiple houses that it has bigger house is but that was something that she committed to early in their marriage and I thought it was a wise and we kind of tried to. Follow suit with them to the limit yourself. Do you think that the accumulation of more and more. Helps to this dizziness. And exhaust and I think housing could it takes a lot of time even if you have help. It takes a lot of time to to guard and to care for your columns and don't you think it's interesting you haven't found this to be true sometimes the more people have. Actually instead of being less anxious about their staff. They're more anxious than even the people that don't have so much you know poverty is one type of anxiety and I wouldn't wish that on anybody. But the anxiety of the rich sometimes. Almost reflects some of the similar things as anxiety that port. And the guy wants to be anxious about stuff too much of it or the lack of it. It drains life from you and in Jesus and that passage right after the warning about. The one who built more and more born to accumulate more and more possessions he says they're for connecting it to don't be anxious than he goes and says look at the ravens who were considered unclean birds for the Jews to touch when they had to go through a purification ceremony. Jesus chooses the ugly is squawking carrion bird possible insist but look at the ravens and see how god cares for them someone 47. God says that he answers the prayers even a raven and and so Jesus. Was trying to get us to understand God's care for creation and even a raven and how he meets their every need. How much more of an argument from the lesser to the greater Willie care for. Those of us like you and me Maryland all our listeners who Wear the crown of God's creation. What and you volleys top. Our family and of course you know our people at church that one of the ways she can break the back of that materialism first of honest with you tied in you know giving 10%. To God's work with Internet statement you're not gonna control me money that's there and you're not and then being generous with other ways and I think just developed an attitude of giving. Summit is like exercising it kind of keeps a pipeline going. And you don't get too fat materially posits a whole lot more fun. To give than to just poured. It just ideas and you're breaking the back of the money monster of the material list monstrous thing they want yep from the get that which god wants is to enjoy material things let's remember. That he Salina said he created all things forced to richly enjoy I think that's first Timothy six. But he would want us to be bound by I think what we're trying to drive it as. When does it reach a level that it binds you it hurts your relationships and that causes anxiety which it at all impacts what we're talking about today which is mayor. So let's move to the definition of love because love is going to be the predominant theme on Valentine's Day all the cards that will be given to. Beloved on this day you'll have something to do with love I just think our culture has totally missed the idea. Of what love truly is from god standpoint. You love in our culture has been reduced to a feeling. Again just just down on him know I'm his wonderful breathe in danger of losing some of the ramming its unit as loved. There's out the window and god wants those parts of marriage he wanted to be a manic. He wants it to be long term committed he wanted to be friendship you want to be obvious things but I don't think we believe we released from the magic. Well I love biblical definition of marriages in First Corinthians thirteen four through seven where Paul defiance lava being patient and kind not jealous not selfish not proud not renewed. It doesn't seek its own way mean that definition. Really has less to do with feelings and more as a commitment of the whale right it's sort of opposite of narcissism and really it really is it's saying I'm going to serve viewed. My partner rather than serve myself in this side gift do you think here for you and make my life enveloped within your life then you'd give that kind of life back to me and that's the kind of commitment again that lasts for a lifetime. That's again that wonderful Christian ethic that is as I give my life away somehow mysteriously in God's economy. I get life back that that only works when you're looking at from the gods and that is not the way the world works. That when you're doing it from your perspective that your belief that god is at the center of things and you give your life. Away it's really I don't have I don't quite know how he does the math here down but it works that you really do get back more you know this instinctively when they go and serve. Sometimes the combatants and how come I feel so blessed and I do and that. It's the law of reciprocity. And it is strange it doesn't seem to make sense but it's biblical at every turn what you reap you also if you sow sparingly you reap sparingly few so abundantly you'll reap abundantly Jesus in Luke 638 said Guillen of and it shall be given to you and the same is true. Materially and spiritually and physically whatever you give out will come back do you so if you care more for the other person. I love more than increase back to you in God's economy. And I think it can you just don't have many people saying to young couples contemplating marriage. Get ready to be a gift her you know go ahead and be from the get go realize you need to be on about giving. And then somehow your knees will also be Matt I think it's more of a consumer. Mentality and again I'll point that the social media because believe it or not. All the on line dating services and on and he amassed dot com's. Some of the research shows that even though people Damian and I am meant when he couples that have met and become happily married. But it's kind of put in marriage searching into a consumer. Mentality like to shopping and it's actually root. Sort of lowered dissatisfaction. Rate. And and some experts think that actually hurt the marriage rate overall. It is now able to get on line winner Mary in key known somewhat better known and now they're trying to find a spouse OK so they find. This one nonstop for this one and then this idea and then it just looks like they're searching for perfection it's. It's probably taken messed around where we think we can find the perfect somebody that's gonna make this perfectly happy in marriage is not a is not a consumer activity. Well I was wondering about those who didn't get married out of having shopped online and they continue to shopping well we obviously I don't even though I do find a better model out was some Daley did it definitely know that from the news and have some feelings of social media release hurts marriages in some ways are cayenne will necessarily McCain in his. To some damage there is a lot of research now being down on this but that the primary. Emotion that people feel the minute they get on social media. Is is Indy and so what if this dissatisfaction. Takes its you know takes reading your marriage. Because maybe you're not satisfied with your home or your body your clothing and now start to become an I'm dissatisfied person well I don't think I'll let my spouse having it just generates this sense of nothing is ever enough. And everybody who is posting on social media never post stuff about how awful they are all time their marriage might be hurting right now the other kids are rebelling and I think you're comparing their outsized with your insides and you never measure I never win. You can't possibly so that's another problem. It biblically the word for love is adopt pay AG AP what's so interesting. Is during that day the Greeks never use that word except for the gods they didn't think humans could reach and operate in the were copping means. The unconditional acceptance of another person just the way he or she is there along come the crazy Christians and they adopt that very word to describe the love god and Jesus. He looked at us and Saul are Nestle are simple assault our rebellion and yet he still came to love us and those of us who knows in Jesus have got a copy within our hearts. And Jesus and as I have looked huge on thirteen 34 now you love one another. I got they love the way we're supposed to love one another totally accepting the other person just the way here she denies which he says unconditional. It denigrate or anything he gets to be unconditionally lab tests plus seemly so wonderful and I think American love just talking about Valentine's Day again this week often says I'll love you if if perform well again if you do well to meet my needs little abuse in that real a Coptic Christian love is I'm gonna levee anyway I am and what knowing you might not meet my needs us I think the wedding bounced better for worse sickness and health I mean doesn't cover. Although it's very old idea of unconditional love consuming our hearts. We need to take a break but when we come back let's give people some practical tips that we've learned through the years on making your marriage work over a long period of time again Merrill my wife we've been married almost four decades. And help people make it. To the end. To the very end so they can be hearing God's words well done good and faithful servant I'm David Chadwick will be right back. Hi everyone I'm David Chadwick and this is news 1110993. WBP welcome back to the show hey Allan take a moment. And thank Perry's fine jewelry for their sponsorship of the show they mean so much to me and they've done this for years and I'm. So thankfully believe in me and believe in this show I also want to give a shout out to a new organization called moments of hope. Which is also sponsoring this show under a new media ministry that is actually trying to take. My wife Maryland's and my material that we've accumulated over the years we've written. Nine books between us we have a multitude of radio and other kinds of shows available. And moments of hope is trying to take it out to a more national. Audience and has been exciting to see it begin to happen and were infused by moments of hope taking over a part of the sponsorship of this program so if you want to learn more about this national ministry go to. FaceBook moments of Polk dot org and they can tell you all about what's going on with this new exciting opportunity. For my wife Marilyn and me who again is in studio as we discussed Valentine's Day this week in a culture where marriage is becoming. Less and less important in a culture where love is becoming murkier and murkier in definition understanding. We really believe marriage is a gift from god and it's God's way to bring children into the world it's a way to pass on stability and purpose in those kids' lives. We've been married almost forty years made the twentieth of this year. It's been a joyful ride and it's fun and in the guy was really Smart when he made marriage don't youth yeah so this Valentine's Day week at Quincy Valentine's Day. We won't marriages to work. We want people to stay in love for a lifetime and we want them to be able to in their lives to look at their kids grandkids. Great grandkids around them and say you know what staying together was absolutely the right thing to do so what are some tips. That you would give listeners today on how to stay married long term. We you know we were talking about the dizziness and so taking that into consideration we all have a busy life. We just have to make marriage a priority for us and you've been taken date nights and have been days off together regularly since we first got married and we had a couple that said as first thing they're kind of a mentor couple. Yani to plan one they weeklies that as you were day off and of course about a talks about a Sabbath anyway so we just. Worked together and that. And we don't do Sundays because obviously you have another job I got to preach on Saturday night we take Sunday morning that's right but we take Frye we have taken Friday's off for years. And I mean it takes a lot to get us off our group I mean. That we really saying no honest everything when the kids were in high school and in sports you know we of course went to their events at night. But we've got our little routine even Thursday night's kind of fun for us as we always know man this is not enough today opt in sleep and a little bit we know get coffee. And sit violent lake it's near our house pray a little bit like Netflix until we just you know. Or bingeing and have fun they didn't program it presents a strike at a good faith to eat my little famous world famous popcorn is my granddaughter since naming argument the best popcorn in the world. So I tell people how to make it. You want to go yet I wish I mean this needs to be copy written at some point every get a pat on this that. I'm Italian he gets a little presto hot air popcorn cooker for like sixteen dollars hot air popcorn. Melt the coconut oil in the little cup on the top drizzle but now to coconut oil Everett. Destin was seesaw it is a guilt free organic happy wonderful tree and then we liked and dark chocolate so what is better than that David. You can actually convince yourself when you make it that it's good for you that's a credit that oil would be you know the bottom line is your read teen what is likely is just the end again let's try this rockets her. I don't think you'll says that's what those are little rituals that people have as we have friends at. Love to go on date night. Like Thursday nighter at night he sees their schedule they get babysitters and they know that's their time and they're never more than about a week away from being able to come over again he is happening on your calendar. You know if you have to wait a last minute plan these things you want. But like if you have a built it and that's always on your calendar and I just think it's great to have the same day of the week with the same night. Because you have to think about it every time you just don't special things on those days and we have even joked with people so horrible joke and we do as a pastor if you die on Friday which is my day off. Please don't call me you're not going to be any more dead and on Saturday I mean it's an awful joke I get it but I think people understand that we need a respected and it makes me help the year. Makes me more able to preach powerfully for the award. I am better when it's been that day alone but also especially with you look not a reason to. One humans to take one out of seven days off. The rest is important. We find that it just makes every aspect of our life better again guide new that he was doing I think when we read as word. Comment I'm saying this you know as a former atheist it was just funny and I'm the one now. Saying that the God's principles are real but it is so true that when you just follow the book and by the way he set things up. I scans better to sit in relationships the better. Well it's also an act of faith you're saying if I take that day all and really around the rest today and not work I'm believing God's going to supply for me. It's a little bit like what chick blade in the 191996. Olympics. When everybody told to keep their store open on Sunday. A true Kathy steadfastly said note this Abbott has got today it's I'm going to take that they offer closing our stores as we always do. During the Olympics they made over sixty million dollars because I believe if you do things God's way he'd stand by his power his strength his magnificent supply your needs plus an abundance. I sound like your comments saying it's almost like when you give your money in a tighter testing got a money with the money when you give him the day off to keep the Sabbath. He trusting him with all your work which for me it's harder for me to trust god with getting on my work done. Then as with money because I'm a little work will be an am afraid no I'm not gonna get XY and Z down so women can probably relate to that wolf one war. In two that I want emphasizes on our day all that time together we do pray together we can I ask you one question you asked me basically the same question how your heart. And what's going on in your life is there anything you wanna share with me. And I share with you you share with me in and I lead us in a prayer. In a lot of guys really have struggles with praying with their wives it's really not rocket science either guys does take your wife's hand which he shared with you what her need might be. Just say lord. Please help my wife with the kids please help my wife with. This load she's carrying right now whatever it might be just pray for her in Jesus name is say a man they're something that draws you together. Spiritually. That allows you were physical and emotional lives to be connected as well. Well and the cool thing happened so we've seen this over the years because our marriages have problems and we face difficulties in course. We went through years of infertility for before each of our three children and when you start to see got cancer specific prayers you know overtime. It builds your faith and when your faith grows and your anxiety lessons and then you marriages there's a bit off all kind of works to well this. Is because at that moment all of our collective memory you shattered. They are all the things we've been through together that we walk through together that we pray through together inexperienced together. If I ever let you were you ever left me at that moment proof. Our highs and lows are long gone they're gone all the pictures around the house don't have any meaning anymore. And for me that means so deadly that some terribly important to me. I want to again get to the end of my life and have those memories intact with youth. Being the center of his memories. I agree with you on the and it's never too late you know maybe somebody's out they're listening his marriage is in trouble and people sometimes ask me well if one person wants America to work is that enough. You know what when God's involved and he can do miracles and a person is willing to really see Kim and pray for them Mary's I can guarantee that there were a vaccine work overnight. Well and we even had couples have committed adultery but they have uncles on one another at the end of spring through the lord to forgive one another. And there again together Koch until the day he can rebuild any marriage and god is the roast or Earl all broken things of folks. Trust in the lord continued to seek him with all your heart. Make the spiritual side of your relationships so important become one that way have some fun yes happy together. Spend time together and if you do those things you'll have a marriage that will last a lifetime any final thoughts now I think you've covered it. The basket wolf thanks for your time today and happy Valentine's week. This had any downtime suite I mean I'm gonna let the dinner every night every night. Everyone thanks for listening love god love your neighbor love your spouse if you'll just those things get a lifetime's worth of work to do I'm David Chadwick is a news 1110993. WBT talk with you all. Next week.